PickUp Lines: For Blundering Idiots in Love
by Lady Lake97
Summary: Fred and George always were ready to lend a helping hand. So when they find out that Ron has a crush on our favourite bookworm of a witch, not to mention it's reciprocated, they come up with a list of pick-up lines to help win her heart.
1. Prologue

**A/N: I had the inspiration to write this fiction after watching the sixth movie when they were at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. I absolutley love the twins! They are so much fun to write with so here we are. I know I should probably be updating my other fic, but I had some inspiration and no one seems to care whether or not I finish it. So if you are reading this and you do care then please review and tell me so! **

**Disclaimer: "A man's life is what his thoughts make it." Marcus Aurelius. So therefore I should be filthy rich, owning the Harry Potter series and live someplace exotic. Sadly I don't think that's exactly what dear Marcus here means when he says this. So I'm sorry to all you folks out here who might have thought that I owned Harry Potter. I do not. I guess that my thoughts are just too advanced for to comprehend. Because obviousley my life is not what my thoughts made it. Why must you lie? Why? WHYYYYY? *Sob***

It should be known that Ronald Weasley had many talents. He could fight off older brothers, he was a fairly good keeper when it came to Quidditch and to top it all off he was friends with Harry Potter. But one thing that couldn't be said for the youngest Weasley boy was that he was good with the ladies. Well it could be said, but that would be a very, very big lie. No, Ron was most definitely awkward when it came to any thing that was related to romance. When something remotely romantic was directed his way his face turned such a bright shade of red it rivaled a tomato. That was a huge problem however when the love of his life had no idea of these affections that her best friend directed towards her. And Ron had no idea how to go about telling her. There was no way he could actually go up and confess to none other than... Hermione Granger.

Hermione knew that Ron had no talent in the affairs of women, but although she was claimed to be the brightest witch of her age, she had yet to see the affections that her best friend for the past eight years harbored towards her.

After the final battle Hermione, had seen to it that the boys went back to Hogwarts for their final year. Eventually they graduated, Hermione with 'outstanding' in every single class, and the boys received enough to make Auror. Harry continued into the field, saying that he felt that he needed to do it, so that he could avenge all the people who died at the hands of death eaters. Ron got roped into working for his two twin brothers everyone knows by Fred and George Weasley. Hermione was offered five jobs all of which she declined and was recommended against her will by various professors for three. While no one understood her reasons she did have many. For one she wanted to stay close to her friends, namely a certain awkward red head, not that she would ever admit that. And so eventually she decided on something close, and was hired to work at Weasley Wizard Wheezes. In case you were wondering it was not because of the fact Ron was also working there. Well maybe a little bit.

And this brings us to the twins in question. These two mischievous red headed wizards could never resist a good prank. I would say it was in their blood, but that wouldn't be true. They had a strict and tidy mother, who knew how to handle children which could only be assumed by the 7 children she had raised. Their father was obsessed with all things muggle, not all things pranking. These two trouble makers had picked up the trade all on their own, much to the regret of any one who had been the butt of their pranks. Which for the record happened to be just about anyone they'd ever met. They had willingly hired their little brother, but little did he know when he applied for such a job, he would really be testing out the various products. At this very moment he still was throwing up slugs every once in a while. That brought back bad memories that did not need to be relived.

Weasley Wizard Wheezes was running fruitfully, mostly due to the help of Hermione who worked herself to death every day taking stock of objects, counting money, working the cash register and in general doing much more than was entirely necessary. Fred had some up to her on more than one occasion telling her to take a break so that they wouldn't be paying Ron for nothing. Most days at the shop consisted of Hermione and Ron working through the huge crowds while Fred and George worked in the back room, which happened to be a sound proof lab made of titanium, experimenting. Every once in a while a loud boom would erupt causing everyone to jump. Hermione had learned not to ask what went on in that room.

On this particular day both Ron and Hermione were working as they normally did, but little did they know that today was examination day. Not officially, but sometimes our favourite Weasley twins decided to make sure their employees were working. In other words they were spying. Ron couldn't have cared less even if he had of known. However if Hermione had of known she would stress out. It was what Hermione would do. And so they sat in a secluded corner and watched.

"Ron, could you bring up a box of puking pasties from the basement?" asked Hermione in her usual buisness-like tone. Fred sighed. She was so official it was scary. Ron groaned.

"Why can't you?" he asked with a pout. This time it was George's turn to sigh. Same old Ron as when they were six. Hermione looked at him with her famous disappointed glare.

"Aren't you man enough to do it? I would think that you'd have enough muscle to carry a box up some stairs," She said condescendingly. Ron blushed and huffed before going downstairs without another word. Fred snickered; it was so obvious that ickle Ronniekins had a crush on Hermione. Said women looked up curiously at the snicker. It wasn't unusual to hear laughter, after all they were in a joke shop. The problem was the store was almost empty. George quickly covered his brother's mouth and a new silence reigned. Hermione gave up and looked towards the basement door. She put her chin on her hand and sighed.

After a couple seconds of staring at the door way to the basement Hermione got up and walked around each shelf looking for something to do. Odd customers here and there already knew what they needed and didn't need to pay for it yet. It seemed like there was nothing to do. Fred and George looked curiously to see what she would some up with. would she dust the shelves again? Scrub the floors? Straighten the already completely straight decorations on the wall? They were expecting her to start working on something that didn't need doing. Instead she sat down and continued to stare at the door. When Ron came up the stairs, he caught her staring and they both looked down blushing. Of course Ron being awkward and bumbling took a step back and fell down the stairs. Hermione squeaked and ran after him as he grunted and tumbled. Fred and George waited for a few seconds before the two of them came back up the stairs, Ron leaning against Hermione and once again his face was tinged with red. At the top of the stairs his foot caught the ledge and he tripped up the step (trust me it's possible) and fell on the ground with Hermione on top of him.

Fred and George lost it, and they both collapsed out of their corner laughing. Ron and Hermione both gasped at the two brothers who were now rolling around in uncontrollable laughter. Ron jumped up leaving Hermione on the floor by herself as Ron took off after his two insufferable brothers shouting insults and profanities.

"What would mommy say if she heard you say that Ronnie boy?" shouted Fred as the two of them ran as hard as they could.

Hermione stood up off the floor and brushed herself off.

"Brothers," she muttered. A crowd of people had gathered to see what the commotion was. Hermione glared at them, a blush still imminent on her cheeks.

"Nothing to see here. Keep it moving," she yelled. Most of the people turned around and continued with their errands. _Great. Now I have to go and get those Puking Pasties myself, _she thought.

* * *

Meanwhile the three Weasley brothers had chased each other up to the second floor of the store. The twins all of a sudden turned around on their heals in unnatural synchronicity and Ron ran headlong into them. The two of them each grabbed one of his arms and dragged him off while he continued shouting things and struggling. In the end they found themselves in the sound proof fortress, otherwise known as the twin's experimentation studio. At this point Ron was a bit scared, hoping he wouldn't become their latest guinea pig. That happened far too often.

"So dearest brother of ours," began George.

"We see that you have a crush on our other employee-"continued Fred

"Hermione," they said simultaneously.

Ron looked up at them and blinked, his face turning a light pink colour. Whether it was from embarrassment or exhaustion I think we can all guess. The twin's blundered on not letting him think up of some sort of protest or excuse.

"So, we've decided to put in a helping hand," said George. Ron took a step back. Whenever the Weasley twins helped it turned out horribly.

"With our list of pick-up lines!" finished Fred. That couldn't be to bad could it? Ron took the piece of parchment extended in their grasp cautiously and unfolded it.

"Guaranteed to have any girl fall for you if only you ise them well."

On it were ten or so different cheesy pick-up lines. Or at least to us they would seem cheesy. To poor naïve Ronald, they seemed like the perfect way to seduce the woman of your dreams. There was no way Hermione wouldn't swoon when he started spewing these lines to her! She would confess her love to him and they would leap into the sky on flying unicorns into the sunset and live happily ever after.

**Review Button- Hi. how are you? My name is Review button. *Poke*. see that? I just poked you! see how considerate I am? Now you should return the favor and poke me! All you have to do is take the mouse and POKE. Then just right something or other. Preferably something nice and uplifting and optimistic. If the story sucks then tell me in a nice happy and uplifting way! Because I'm such a sweet and considerate review button, I really think you should poke me!**


	2. Titanic Mistake

**A/N: On with the show!**

**Disclaimer: Me-Harry Potter, Harry Potter, Harry Potter, Harry Potter...**

**J.k Rowling- What are you doing, Lady lake?**

**Me- I figure if I chant the name of your book enough eventually it will be mine.**

**J.K Rowling- Yeah... That's not going to happen. Sorry kid, Harry Potter's Mine! Peace Out! _Continues to use jet pack and flies up through the boundaries of space. With the Harry Potter Book that I should mention is not mine._**

Ron wondered aimlessly around the store reading his new miracle list. He found out soon enough that wondering around Fred and George's prank store is possibly the worst mistake anyone could ever make in their entire existence. As he walked his shoe caught on strange contraption that jumped out at an alarmingly fast rate and scared the knickers off of anyone nearby. Of course, just as Ron's luck would have it, his shoe happened to hit that button causing a huge face to come springing up right in front of his face. Ron screamed and jumped two feet in the air running down the stairs onto the main floor where Hermione was sitting at the cash register with a bored look on her face.

She jumped in her seat as the clumsy red head came crashing down the stairs for the second time that day. He stopped by the counter beside Hermione and leaned against the wall breathing heavily.

"Can I not leave you alone for 10 minutes without you getting injured?" She asked calmly as a customer came to the counter with a love potion and some sort of dung bomb contraption. The customer sent a weird look at the red head gasping for air at the wall. Hermione rang up the costs and took the money.

"Have a nice day," she said to the customer. She then turned to Ron with a questioning look on her face.

"What did you do?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. Ron took a deep breath before looking up the stairs in mild paranoia.

"It's out to get me! I swear it jumped out at me. This whole store is trying to get me!" Hermione sighed and pulled out the same toy he had tripped over.

"Are you talking about this?" she put it on the table and pressed the button causing the ghoul inside to come popping out lightning fast. Ron jumped again but after closer examination on his part came to the conclusion that it wasn't going to hurt him and it was just another one of his brothers' evil toys. Hermione shook her head and laughed at him. Her laughter was like bells to his ears, sweet and melodic. Quickly Ron sprang from his spot on the wall and went to finish reading the list of Pick-Up lines. Hermione looked at him curiously. Something was up with Ronald Weasley.

In a small storage room located at the back of the huge joke store boxes upon boxes of supplies lay waiting to be sold and shoved down some poor victim's throat causing them to get horribly sick, grow warts, or turn their hair a unique shade of green. At that moment one could also find Ron Weasley reading through his brand new list. At the top in a swirly script read "Pick-Up lines: For Blundering Idiots in Love." Ron was just a tad bit offended that his brothers would think of him as a blundering idiot, but after all these years, you'd think he ought to be used to it. He continued down the list, reading each and every one carefully trying to decide the best way to approach this. Hermione was a stubborn girl, and it was unlikely that she would melt at the first incredibly impressive line he used on her. He decided that he should start at the top and work his way down.

Walking out of the storage closet with a new spring in his step, Ron bounced his way towards Hermione with a new found confidence. He was going to get Hermione and these lines would bloody well help him.

Fred and George were once again spying on the two love birds (to be) testing out their latest product, that causes the user to match the colours of their surroundings. As long as the ingestee stays perfectly still against a wall it should be difficult to see them. They had done quite a bit of snickering after Ron had left, and eventually came downstairs to watch the fun. A good chunk of the things on that list, Ron wouldn't understand. Especially the first one, oh how much they were hoping he used the first one.

Ron continued to walk up to Hermione and she looked over her shoulder to see him sending a lopsided grin that caused butterflies to explode in her stomach. He continued with his confident step towards the counter. Reaching said counter, her turned to her with a grin, reciting the line in his head over and over again.

_Please use the first one, please use the first one,_ Fred and George chanted in their heads. They were both anxious to see the results of their list.

Hermione glanced up from the receipts she was checking, waiting for what he had to say. Ron took a deep breath, recited the saying once again and continued.

"Hermione," he said in what some might consider a seductive tone. She nodded for him to continue, her heart skipping a beat or two.

"You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the Iceberg. I'll go down with you," his voice sounded almost questioning at the end. Fred had to put a silencing charm on his twin and himself because they broke down laughing. It was just too hilarious. They had to stop though just to see Hermione's reaction to the stupid line their little brother had used.

Hermione blinked a couple times and then smack Ron up side the head with a rolled up newspaper that was beside her on the desk.

"Ow!" He yelled. Hermione smacked him once again.

"Sorry just making sure the sense was knocked back into you." She explained. Inside she was wondering if he was for real. Where did he come up with these things?

"Tell me Ronald; do you know what that means?" She asked. Ron thought for a moment then shook his head. Hermione nodded in comprehension. How had she fallen for such an idiot?

"Just out of curiosity, what does it mean?" He asked. Fred and George had doubled over laughing at their poor, gullible brother. Hermione shook her head and got up.

"I'm not going to be the one to tell you," and with that she left, as it was 6 O'clock and the shop was fairly well finished closing up. She shook her head as she left the store, laughing at the absurdity of the line in question. It was so unlike Ron.

Ron was still leaning on the counter pondering what he had said. He didn't really get what was wrong with that line? _You'll be the Titanic….._ He couldn't see anything bad about that. _I'll be the iceberg…._ No, that line wasn't disturbing. _I'll go down with you…. Go down…. With you…._Ron's eyes widened in comprehension. What had he said? He put his head in his hands and moaned. His mind had been corrupted! Why did they have to do that to him? Well he still had nine more lines that he could use. Surely that would make it up to her. But really? _I'll go down with you… Aghhh! My mind is dead!_

**A/N: Sorry if that line seriously disturbed any one. I'm sorry, I just find that line hilarious! If you didn't get it, you probably don't want to. Don't worry about me, my mind is already corrupted. Now on to more pressing matters. REVIEW! No seriousley, I really need some good old cheesy pick up lines. Please give me some ideas. Also without reviews to feed the withering mind of creativity, I shall shrivel into complete and utter nothingness. Darkness, with nothing at all. and it will be all your fault. Don't deny it. Maybe no one else will know, but you'll know, and can your concience really handle that? How would you like to live the rest of your days knowing that you caused someone's creativity to _die. _Yeah that's right. So Review, or else this long and tedious, yet certainly heartfelt and sentimental Author's note will be for nothing. And then that's another thing that will haunt you forever. That's right, Feel bad.**


	3. I'm Noticing That This Isn't Working

**A/N: Alright people, I really truly am sorry that this is so late in coming. I made a goal that I would update all my stories before March break. It is now summer vacation. Seriously, for the most part it was just laziness on my behalf. Anyways, I suppose I really want this story finished, I just didn't have the motivation to write it. And we all know how well that works. But it's finally done, so I hope you enjoy. Keep in mind; I'm still taking requests for really corny pick up lines. Just the stupidest, cheesiest ones you can think of.**

**Disclaimer: It came to my attention that my previous disclaimer, I think it was the one I did on pranks lead to love, was lacking it's usual pizzazz. So this time, just to make sure I had an interesting disclaimer, I decided to steal the rights to Harry Potter. That's right, for a second there I owned Harry Potter! Of course, now I'm writing this from my jail cell. It's not too bad actually, all it needs is less metal furniture, and maybe a new paint job. Anyways, I guess for the moment I do not own Harry Potter. But believe you me, it will happen one day. Y'hear J.K Rowling? One day it shall be mine! MINE! ... I'm sorry what's that? You're moving me to the mental institution?**

Really, our bumbling idiot of a red head, should have been a little bit more careful. Maybe he should have thought through each line before saying them out loud. But Ron had faith in his older brothers. When had they ever steered him wrong?I mean aside from the time they completely humiliated him in front of the girl he'd had a crush on in second year by sending her a letter that had Ron's magnified voice shouting out his confession of love and affection. And then there was the time in fourth year when they'd told him that in order to really attract the ladies he'd have to start thinking of ways to propose and list them off to a girl before asking her out and asking which one they'd prefer. And then there was-

Anyways, that's beside the point. The point is Fred and George could for the most part be trusted in matters of love. They seemed to be doing just fine themselves, so why shouldn't they be able to help Ron himself out? I mean aside from the fact that they were his older brothers and had made it their life's goal to humiliate him ever since he was born. But, seriously, would they really want to embarrass him in front of Hermione, the girl they knew he was head over heels for?

If you're looking for and answer to that question, I can give you one. What the Weasley twins would have said was a flat out 'hell yeah!' the mischievous twins didn't want to terrorize their brothers love life, they just wanted to give him a little push in the right direction, with entertainment benefits for them, of course.

And since we're getting opinions, should we ask Hermione, she would be somewhat flabbergasted at her crush's strange behavior. She blushed furiously, as she walked into her small apartment. Just thinking about that crazy line he'd said was enough to make her skin turn a lovely hue of pink. I suppose it was mostly because of the fact that Ron hadn't even known what it'd meant when he'd said it. Our resident book worm plopped herself down on her old brown couch dejectedly. She could only hope that one day, her wonderful idiot of a man would return her feelings. And maybe do it with the least amount of pain on her part. The red head wasn't exactly the most sensitive person on the face of the planet, if you catch my drift.

And now it's time to progress this story. We'll come across Ron Weasley walking back to his own flat. His older brothers had let him work at their store, but actually living there was where they drew the line. Seeing as he couldn't possibly live with his mother, although she had offered multiple times, he had rented his own little place in Diagon Alley. It wasn't much, but for now it was home.

With a sigh he plopped himself exasperatedly down at his kitchen table, almost wishing he was living with his mum, just so he would be welcomed home with a smile and a home cooked meal. Imagining his mother's delicious pot roast, he pulled a small pack of noodles he had bought at one of those muggle grocery stores he found quite interesting. The noodles were packaged in a yellow plastic wrapper, which Ron had a bit of trouble opening, but after a quick volley of about six spells, including _incendio_, he finally managed to get the stupid thing burned to a crisp but open nonetheless.

One would think that after living with Molly Weasley for a good half of his life, he would have picked up a few spells for housework, namely cooking spells. Unfortunately this was not the case. The red head stared blankly at the chunk of dry noodles that was slightly blackened around some of the edges. He honestly had no idea what to do next. Picking up the block, he tentatively attempted to gnaw on one of the corners only receiving a loud crunch and a few pieces of dry, flavorless noodles. Ron glanced at the mostly destroyed packaging and looked at the picture of the noodles on the front, steaming and soft, looking rich with flavor. Something wasn't quite right.

He thought about calling his mother, but decided against it, because she would probably give him a million different spells that could work, and he'd never get to his food. Besides, he really wasn't in the mood to have his ears talked off.

And so Ron called the next best person: Hermione. Of course! She'd know exactly how to cook these stupid noodles. He pulled out the little fellytone thingy that Hermione had told him to use when he wanted to get a hold of her. Apparently she was tired of being scared to death as men walked through her fireplace while she was busy with things. Eventually after much fumbling, he managed to find Hermione's phone number and heard the ring in his ear. Finally a click and Hermione's voice came through the speaker on his end.

"Hello?"

"Hey 'Mione?"

"Ron?"

"Yeah," he laughed nervously, before continuing.

"Listen, do you know any spells for cooking those little packaged noodles?"

"Ron, noodles aren't real supper. At least those kinds aren't. You need something else too," she sighed on the other end.

"You know what? I'm going to come over there and make you some food, okay?"

"Uhhhhhh..."

"Close your mouth Ron, it's not very becoming of you." Ron laughed, while wondering at the same time if she was psychic for the hundredth time.

"I'll be over there in a couple if seconds, try not to set anything on fire before I get there."

With that, she hung up and Ron went back into the kitchen to sit and poke at the hard noodles. Just a few seconds later, he heard a loud crack in the living room, and in walked Hermione just as she had promised.

"So where are those noodles?" she asked, ready to get to it. Ron pushed the dry block of noodles towards her looking down, expecting to be scolded for massacring his supper. When none came he looked up curiously to see what she was waiting for. Instead of seeing her exasperated look of irritation, he found she was covering her mouth, doubled over in silent laughter.

"What's so funny?" he asked indignantly. He didn't understand what was at all entertaining about his continuing lack of supper.

"These things are, like, the easiest type of food to cook in the muggle world. I knew how to make them by the time I turned six." She continued to giggle as she sat down at the small table across from her friend. He looked mildly annoyed, but couldn't help smiling slightly at the girl's laughter. Finally she managed to control herself enough to talk to Ron, but the look of amusement still sparkled in her eyes.

"You do realize that there are instructions right on the back of the wrapper," she questioned dryly. Ron ran his hand through his hair embarrassedly.

"That's the thing, I couldn't read it."

"Why ever not?" she questioned surprised. Ron was clueless at times but he could a least read. She thought...

"Well, you see, a little bit of damage was done to it when I tried to get it open." he shuffled sheepishly.

"Ron, let me see the package."

"I really don't think that's a good-"

"Ron. Give. Me. The. Packaging." She used the stern tone she reserved especially for occasions like these. It always worked on Ron, the cause being: she scared him like hell whenever she used it.

Ron stood up and walked over to the garbage can, where the massacred noodle wrapper lay in a disarray. He brought it over to the waiting brunette and placed it tentatively in front of her as he sat down .

Her eyebrow raised in amusement once again. She examined the back of the wrapper looking for any clue that there was once words on the back. As Ron had previously said, it was impossible to make heads or tails of the mess.

"What on earth did you do to this?" she asked in amazement.

"Just tried a few spells on it..."

"Which ones did you use," she inquired, genuinely curious.

Ron coughed awkwardly before listing off he spells he had used.

"I started with incendio, but the thing just caught on fire, so I decided to use some water to put it out. That made it soggy, but I figured that would be okay. Then I used Sectumsempra, but the noodles have no blood so that really didn't do anything. Then I tried Alohamora-"

"You used Alohamora to get food packaging open?" she interrupted. Ron just shrugged.

"I figured it was worth a try." Hermione sighed, as Ron continued.

"And then I tried expelliarmus, but that didn't really do anything either."

"How did you end up getting it open then?"

Ron shifted nervously, not sure if he should explain.

"Ron."

He mumbled something incoherent underneath his breath.

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

"I used the killing curse..." he muttered a little bit more audibly. Hermione's eyebrows shot up even further.

"You used an unforgivable curse on a package of noodles?"

"...Yes?"

Hermione sighed and shook her head. Only Ron.

"You do realize that's illegal right?" she asked, still somewhat stunned and waiting for and explanation of his stupidity.

"I was getting angry with it..." he muttered indignantly. He was starting to regret telling her. Then again, if he had refused to explain, she probably would have murdered him anyways.

"So when you get angry with things you Avada them?"

A smile was hidden in the corners of her mouth, masking her amusement. Ron saw it and blushed with shame.

"Not usually..."

"Ron, how many times have you sent a killing curse at an inanimate object?"

"...nine," he muttered ashamedly. "But I thought you were here to help me fix it, not criticize me for killing it," he whined. Hermione shook her head, a small smile still present on her lips.

"Alright, Alright." With that she stood up from the table and walked into the kitchen, wearying through the pantries for food that was actually edible.

Ron sat at his small table, seeing a clear view of his love working in his kitchen. As he sat there watching her move through the kitchen with a confidence he had only ever seen in his mother, he came upon an idea. Now in his mind, it was quite a grand idea. Wouldn't it be perfect if he used one of his totally amazing pick up lines?Readers, please don't answer that, we have to let the protagonist sort this out himself.

The answer that he found was a dead 'Yes!'. So it was decided. From that point, Ron pulled out his scrap of paper and read it over looking for the best one. He decided to stick to the pattern and just go in order. He glanced at number two. It was a mouth full to say, but he was confident that it would work. He just had to get it right.

Hermione glanced at the red head's face, scrunched in concentration as he stared at the piece of paper in his hand. The look on his face was quite intense, and she could see his jaw moving, as though he was reciting something silently. She pondered what on earth he could be reading, but at the end of the day, the brightest with of her age couldn't even figure out Ronald Weasley. Of course that only made her even more suspicious than before.

Ron looked up, trying to decide when the best time to spring it on her would be. As his gaze skimmed the room, as it often did as he was trying to think, his eyes met Hermione's. The look in her eyes was the same she always used when writing intensely. She did it often enough that Ron had it completely memorized it. It also helped that he had a bit of a habit of staring at her for long periods of time.

Anyways, as their eyes met, it was one of those moments. When that little thought just pops into your brain like that. And without even thinking about it, you just say it out loud. It's a cross between a 'Eureka!' moment and a momentary lapse of judgement. So, sadly, I must say, that Ron chose this moment to botch up- sorry, I mean master his perfect pick up line. With a cocky smirk, which looked totally out of place on his face, he said it, lowering his voice a couple pitches, attempting to sound a little bit more seductive.

"Hey." Hermione gave a confused smile before he continued.

"I noticed you noticing you- uh, me, and I wanted to give you notice that you- I- Noticed- Ummmmmm... You!" he finished with a flourish. Not too bad Weasley, Not bad a all.

Then why was Hermione giving him that look again? You know the one like she thinks you've finally lost it? Yeah that one.

She shook her head, either trying to clear her head of the undying love and affections she felt, or trying to rid herself of his stupidity, depending on whose point of view you were looking at. For the sake of Ron's ego, we'll pretend it was the former.

"Ron come and get your food," she said briskly, feeling quite awkward at his attempt of being sexy.

Odd, she didn't seem horribly affected by the amazing powers of Ron, ladies man extraordinaire.

Ron sighed and walked to the wooden countertop where she had laid out their dinner. The ladies man in question cringed as he looked at the salad menacingly staring him down.

"Aw, Hermione! Do you have to make vegetables? Really?" his formerly sexy attitude gone out he window as he realized that she was going to make him eat vegetables. Bleck.

"Of course, they're good for you," she replied curtly as she pulled a plate out of one of his cupboards and plopped a big scoop of salad onto his plate.

"But I don't like them," he whined.

"But they like you, so you're going to eat them."

Ron decided then and there that his battle against the vegetables was lost. He hung his head in resignation, and continued, somewhat less enthusiastically, with eating his home cooked meal.

Really the noodles were quite good actually. Absentmindedly, he wondered what exactly he'd done wrong when he'd attempted it. Curious.

"Hermione, they're vegetables! How can I eat them?"

"Honestly Ron, you sound like a five year old," she sighed and placed a large heap of salad onto her own plate. Secretly she was glad that he was acting a little bit more like the Ronald Weasley she knew and loved. But there was something suspicious about that piece of paper he had been reading before. Something if was afoot, and if anyone was about to figure it out, it would be Hermione Granger.

**A/N: Alright, this chapter is finished! Woohoo! Please people, seriously, if you want regular updates, I really need to be pushed. I'm a natural procrastinator, and I figured that if I don't have a deadline, I'll never get this done. So please review, because it really helps motivate me to update. Sorry, I'm just so lazy I don't often write unless I have something pushing me to get it done.**

**Now, I'd like to address the subject of my slight Ron bashing. No one has commented on it, but reading back I realized that Ron isn't really that stupid. He's awkward, and at times he can be extremely insensitive and clueless, but I have a habit of bashing my favourite characters. Anyways, sorry for he slight OOC-ness. I hope you'll forgive me : )**

**Okay, now I have to say thank you for all the reviews and great pick up lines you guys have given me, I seriously love it so much when you review. It completely makes my day when you do. Thank you to POTTERPEOPLE, and I used one of your lines :P hope you don't mind that Ron completely botched it up ;)**

**Alright, now one last thing. If there happens to be any Betas who would be willing to edit a kingdom hearts story, reading this story I would be very happy indeed. If you're willing, please PM me for details and you can decide from there.**

**Whew! Long AN, sorry about that. Well thanks for reading, and always remember kiddies, reviews are always welcome! (Unless you're my little sister in which case I say STOP READING MY STORIES, YOURE MAKING ME FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO REFRAIN FROM WRITING WHAT I REALLY WANT SO THAT I CAN PROTECT YOUR INNOCENCE!) ;)**


	4. Running Through My Mind And Beyond

**Disclaimer: I'm feeling particularily menacing today, so I'm going to be a rebel. Watch, I'll just say the disclaimer so fast that nobody will even be able to tell what I said, and then they'll just think that the stories mine. See: _Harry Potter belongs to JKRowling and not to me, so please don't sue... _Hehe. Sally, Uncle Bob, and the Department of Dangerous Importations of Meaningless Magical Objects? Well, those ones are mine. :P**

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Hermione Granger, super sleuth, was on a mission. What did this mission entail, you ask? Well, it was in her best interest to keep it hush, hush, but I'm sure you lovely folks won't be telling anyone. Her mission, was to find out what that piece of paper was and why her best friend/soon to be boyfriend, was acting so strange. Ronald Weasley really, was not the type to try seducing a woman. Or, I suppose he could try, but in all due respect, he was so awkward and clueless, it really just didn't work. He was adorable just the way he was.

Anyways, back to Hermione's quest. She remembered the way Ron's brow had furrowed, as he'd studied the strange scrap. Not even in school had he ever concentrated so hard, leading her to believe, up until this point, he had not the capacity to do so. That must account for something then, and it only stands to reason that said piece of paper was in fact quite important. It was the only lead she had on the subject of Ronald's mysterious behavior as of late. Somehow, she just had to get that paper from him.

And how did she propose to do so? Well it was simple really. It was the morning after her revelation, she had spent a little while after supper at Ron's house deciding to watch on of her favorite muggle movies: Titanic. Not only was it a romantic tragedy, that could hopefully give Ron a few tips, but it was also a three hour movie, all three hours snuggling up to the red head, and pretending to cry so that he'd put his arm around her. Yes, it was a good night indeed.

But that brings us back to the point. She still needed to find out, what exactly was it that was causing him to act so strangely? She decided that the best way to find out, would be to follow him, for the rest of the day. If he took the piece of paper out, she could ask him about it and see what happened.

Today, our characters are scattered about the large prank shop, each doing various jobs of their own. Hermione worked the cash register, as Ron took inventory of all the items, this time around being ever so careful not to step on something exponentially terrifying. And Fred and George... Well we can all assume that they were up to their usual mischief and causing of mayhem. In truth, at this present moment the Weasley twins had just received a letter. A very important letter indeed. From the very ministry of magic, department of magical objects itself.

But that's for a little bit later. Remember? Hermione is setting up her very elaborate plan. But Hermione was working at the cash register. How was she to follow her lovable co worker when she was doing something completely different? Well, let it never be said that Hermione was the brightest witch of her age, for nothing. A quick charm that was muttered underneath her breath made her job all the easier. A small mirror laid beside her inconspicuously, quite innocent to the watchful eye. Soon, the shiny surface began to ripple and shift until the image of the ceiling was replaced by Ronald Weasley shifting through a box sitting beside a nearly full shelf. He took out many a strange object. An orange orb that glowed in the dark, and when shook, would explode into a cloud of neon smoke; a mirror that showed your face distorted into the most hideous expressions; a coin that would yell out crude sayings whenever somebody passed within a five meter radius. Each one was placed onto the shelf with care, for Ron new that the wrath of his brothers would be merciless if he broke something.

Hermione watched in fascination as he used a tenderness she had never witnessed before. She stared deeply into the mirror, her heart melting just a little bit. His red hair shone in the light streaming from the windows above him. The freckles that speckled across his nose made his expression look younger, and simply adorable. She didn't notice herself leaning towards the mirror to look closer. Closer. Clos-

"Hey Hermione!" two voices sounded from right behind her. Two voices that were laced with certain smugness...

Hermione leaped backwards quickly and turned the mirror over before they could see. Her heart was beating erratically, and it was perfectly possible she just had a heart attack. Only a minor heart attack.

"Whatcha doing?" Fred asked with mock innocence. Believe you me, he knew perfectly well what she had been doing.

You can also take my word when I say that they enjoyed every second that she struggled to come up with an excuse.

"Well, you see-"

"Oh don't fret Hermione. We already know exactly what you were doing!" Fred interrupted happily. Hermione froze in terror.

"Y-you do?"

"Of course we do! You were-" George was quickly stopped by a small hand covering his mouth.

"Shut. Up." Her voice was almost a hiss. Fred snorted as she jumped away. Ron was standing quietly leaning on a shelf filled with boxes of puking pasties.

"What was he going to say?" If you squinted really hard the possibility of mistaking Hermione for a tomato was quite probable.

"Oh I was just about to-"

"Say that you were doing wonderfully putting things on the shelf and that you should continue your amazing work!"

It may have been almost believable if it weren't for two reasons. Firstly, Hermione had shouted her pathetic excuse of a lie at the top of her lungs. Secondly, these were three of the famous Weasley boys we're talking about; Please tell me, when would Fred or George ever say that to their little Ronniekins? I think it would be more along the lines of: "Oi, tell me again why we hired you?" or perhaps "You're a pathetic excuse of a wizard! Why did we choose you of all people to carry our legacy?"

Ron raised an eyebrow, obviously not quite as gullible as we had originally thought.

"They gave me a compliment?"

Fred snorted and coughed something that sounded suspiciously like "Not likely".

Hermione scowled at him, and then smiled brightly at Ron."

Yes. Yes they did."

"But I don't think-"

"Shut up Ron." A smile was still splayed across her face. An awkward silence broke over the four of them. But it should be noted that when with the Weasley twins, quiet was never quiet for long.

"So, darlingest Ronnie boy, we've got a job for you again!" Fred exclaimed happily. The look on Ronald's face could only be described as horror. Sheer horror.

"Not again!"

"Don't worry Won-Won! We don't need a guinea pig today!"

Ron let out a sigh of relief. Vivid images of himself covered in purple fabric eating acid flashed through his mind.

"Today, we need a messenger!" George exclaimed.

"Well not really a messenger... We just need someone to do an errand for us."

"Simply clear up a few things for the Ministry of Magic that's all."

Ron looked slightly miffed. He eyed his two older brothers with a look that clearly said "why me?" His brothers, obviously used to seeing similar looks on their younger brother's face, answered his unspoken question.

"We need somebody with secret agent like precision-"

"And again I wonder: Why me?"

"And a knack for persuasive conversation-"

"Still wondering..."

"And we can't be bothered to go to the ministry ourselves, since we have a tendency to make things a lot worse then they originally were."

"Ah."

"It's all clear now," said Hermione, who had previously been watching the exchange with amusement. The awkward chuckles soon subsided into a once again, considerably more awkward silence. This simply would not do.

"Apparently some of our products being imported from Belgium have been deemed 'Potentially Dangerous'," Fred made quotation marks with his fingers, as George snorted and shook his head.

"Aren't your products usually not only 'potentially' dangerous, but out right lethal?" Hermione inquired, one eyebrow rising gracefully above the other.

"Exactly! I don't know why they had to choose now to start nit-picking!" George exclaimed. Hermione shook her head and sighed. In all honesty, she should have known.

"Do I have to go?" Ron whined.

"Yes. Goodbye."

"But-"

"Did you hear something Fred?"

"No, I think it might have been the wind, George."

"I could have sworn I heard out darling brothers voice."

"Well for his sake I should hope it wasn't him. I think if he was still here we'd have to sneak another slug sizzling bean into his pumpkin juice..."

Ron gulped and disapparated quickly.

Hermione would have followed. She would have abandoned work right then. She would have kept straight to her mission. After all what had the higher priority?

Let's face it: this is Hermione Granger we're talking about.

"George, me thinks she is debating whether or not she should go after him."

"Well, that would mean skipping work. I mean she's only worked 9 hours a day for 349 days a year."

"As long as she knows she's not getting paid, I don't see what the trouble is..."

The twins turned to her and flashed identical grins. Hermione thanked them with a small smile and a roll of her eyes before disappearing after him.

Hermione was quite thankful she didn't have to flush herself down a toilet, if she were to look upon the situation with an optimistic attitude.

A pessimistic attitude would comment that she was still attempting to break into the ministry for an undoubtedly stupid reason. However, seeing how Hermione was generally a realist her train of thought was: I am so screwed.

Truer words have ne'er been spoken.

She was trailing behind Ron, a muggle newspaper planted firmly in front of her face. She hoped above all hopes that he didn't see her. Luckily he didn't.

Unbeknownst to Hermione Granger: super sleuth, she wasn't the only one doing completely pointless and unnecessary spying.

Standing with their back against a wall, newspaper also held suspiciously close to their face, was a shady figure. A very shady figure.

Hermione passed them without notice, due to the piece of paper constricting her view quite well. I suppose even if she hadn't have had a paper in front of her face, she only had one thing on her mind right now. Some super spy she turned out to be. Don't tell her I said that, please.

The shady figure in question was clothed in all black, including a rather nice pair of sunglasses, and a hood placed firmly over their head. As the brunette witch walked past in a rather failed attempt to be inconspicuous, the shady figured folded the newspaper neatly in half and placed it on a metal bench. Leaning over, they whispered something into their sleeve, most likely there was a microphone or high-tech listening device hidden there. The person looked suspiciously back and forth before following Miss. Granger.

As the shady figure trailed Hermione and Hermione trailed Ron, the three of them swerved in and out of back alleyways, hopefully on their way to the final destination. But with Ron in the lead, you never know. Hermione absentmindedly worried that perhaps they were completely and totally lost. She almost went up to him and shook him for being so stupid. Luckily she had a bit more self control than that.

And then they saw it. Hiding behind the dark shadow of the main ministry building. Out in the back field of the ministry property. It was rather pathetic, really.

Apparently there was literally, a whole other department, specifically for Dangerous Importations of Meaningless Magical Objects. Mind you, it was a rather small department: pretty much a shack, shingles falling off, a few cracks at the seam of the sole window… Yes it was pretty sketchy, but a department it was.

It looked like some sort of drug house.

Ron stopped and shot a concerned glance at the wooden department sign nailed haphazardly into the ground. Hermione was half expecting some hobo axe murderer to come sneaking out of the house and take the two of them at gun point into his building where he would hold them ransom. You know, like in one of those horror movies.

Sadly, this story was not meant to be one of horror, and so, alas, there was no hobo axe murderer, and Ron made his way, for the most part safely to the door, aside from stumbling over a rusty pipe lying on the dead grass. Hermione ducked into the shadow cast from the shack as Ron raised a fist and hesitantly knocked.

Suspicious whispering followed.

The sound of multiple locks being slipped and undone followed.

And we're sure there's no serial killer? …..Pretty sure.

Hermione almost whimpered as the door was thrown open. Actually, with the force that was used to open that door, she wasn't surprised that it hadn't flown off the hinges.

"….THERE'S A PERSON HERE!"

Ron looked as though he was visibly thrown back by the force of the shout. An old-ish man with a long-ish beard stood in the doorway, an overly excited smile plastered across his face. He was bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet, and Hermione Granger super-sleuth already had doubts about this man's sanity.

Of course it didn't take a super-sleuth to see that this man had no sanity whatsoever.

"Oh lordy! Sally, look-y here! There's a real live person here at my door!" His beard shook with every word. He looked like he was about to start crying tears of joy.

Suddenly a younger woman, who looked to be about 30 stepped into the doorway. She looked rather unintimidating in comparison to the older man. Perhaps it would be safe to assume that she wasn't a mental hospital escapee?

"Uncle Bob, I think you're scaring this poor boy off." She cast a sympathetic glance at Ron, who was still looking pretty scared.

"Don't worry kid; he just doesn't get out much."

The two of them looked to Uncle Bob slowly inching his hand towards Ron's face to stroke his cheeks. Needless to say, Ronald wasn't entirely sure how to react.

"Uncle Bob! That's enough!" After shuffling the old man back into the shack-I mean Department; she turned back to the flustered red head with a raised eyebrow.

"So, what d'you need? Don't get many visitors, since we're kind of a pathetic department, so I'm not entirely sure how this works. Do you want some tea, or something?"

Ron wasn't entirely sure that he wanted to step foot inside the house… Sensing this, Sally pulled her wand out of her back pocket and summoned a small tea pot and a few chipped cups, leaving Ron no choice but to accept. After growing up with Molly Weasley for a mother, he knew better than to decline a woman when she offers you tea. Once the tea cups are out, you're doomed to stay until the tea is finished.

And so Ron entered the Department of Dangerous Importations of Meaningless Magical Objects.

And Hermione began her search for a window that she was actually capable of seeing through.

Which proved to be much harder than one would think.

Ronald Weasley was used to messes. He grew up in the burrow, where, although his mother tried her best to keep things neat and tidy, it wasn't entirely possible with seven children. However the mess that greeted him behind the old door was much, _much_ worse. You'd think that wizards and witches, being perfectly able to tidy things up with the wave of a wand, would not have to deal with messes that looked like they were created by multiple natural disasters.

Evidently not.

It was mostly due to the fact that this department obviously didn't get many visitors.

As the blustering red head stumbled over a box, spilling the contents everywhere, he began to fear for his life. Evidently, there were some _very_ dangerous magical objects that had been imported as of late. Proven thusly by the numerous explosives and test tubes lying scattered on the floor.

Sally was already sitting in the kitchen, pouring tea, and so Ron ran in a rushed fashion towards her, hoping to escape before something snuck out of one of the boxes and ate him alive.

He pulled out a chair and sat down across from the middle aged woman, who was already sipping her tea. Glancing nervously from side to side, he took a gulp of his own beverage, before nearly choking as he saw the old man, Bob, seated on a stool right beside him, scooting closer to him. Ron shuffled, hoping to gain a little bit of personal space. The man just continued to stare, an awed expression on his face.

Coughing awkwardly, Ron ruffled through his pockets hoping to find the piece of paper that Fred and George had given him just before he left. He pulled out a stack of paper and ruffled through it, finding his list of pick up lines and smiling inwardly. Quickly he glanced at the contents, and looked at the one that he had planned to use today when he got the chance.

Finally he found the small crumpled stick it note and handed it to the woman who was now also staring at him. With the gazes of both Sally and that Bob fellow, Ron wasn't entirely doubtful that he'd have a nervous breakdown right then and there.

The woman took the note and looked it over quickly.

"Ah right! You're here for the Weasley Wizarding Wheezes stock, am I right?"

Ron nodded. Sally stood up with a small smile and walked into the hallway, returning in a few seconds with a box, wrapped in yellow caution tape. It was rather concerning….

"Well, there were just a few legal things that the Ministry told us top address. Normally your products are relatively safe, or at least legal, however we believe that these products are not entirely common in the wizarding world, and so an inspection was needed."

She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, as she slowly opened the box. From it she pulled a pair of mittens, a sock puppet, a strange painting with the face of an unsmiling woman and a miniaturized kangaroo stuffed animal. Ron looked at them quizzically. Alas, he, nor any other being on this planet, wizard or muggle, will ever understand the minds of the Weasley twins.

"Everything is in order, so if you want you can take-"

She was interrupted by the sound of a shout. The three pairs of eyes in the room were jerked towards the only window in the house where a girl stood, mouth open in shock. However it didn't seem as though the noise had come from her. The window was blurry, and so the people inside the shack couldn't make out any features.

Quickly they all ran outside to see what the fuss was about, the wizard by the name of Bob, stood quite close to Ron, making him feel, yet again, mildly uncomfortable.

From the rickety wooden porch they could see the figure of the girl running out of the lot that this department was located in. There were two official looking officers of some sort chasing after her, throwing disarming and other such curses at the fleeing character.

Suddenly they heard a crack, and all of their gazes flew to the glimpse of a man dressed in all black. They only caught the flash of red hair before he disapparated into nothingness.

"Stupid kids playing pranks," Bob said, spitting distastefully onto the dirt. Sally shook her head in disgust, whether from the mucus now lying on the ground or the fact that there was a suspicious intruder is unknown. Ron shook his head also, watching the figure run away, still followed by the shouts of furious wizard cops.

"Well, I better get going. Thank you for the tea!" Ron was about to take a step, when he felt himself pulled back into a hug by Uncle Bob. The man rubbed his cheek up against face in a very disturbing way. Sally scoffed.

"Uncle Bob, let the boy go. He has a life, unlike us." With that she pulled the man off, and dragged him back into the very memorable Department of Dangerous Importations of Meaningless Magical Objects, sending a back hand wave to the red headed boy.

Rest assured, Ron swore he was never going back to that nut house…

But at least now he could go back to the shop and see his beautiful Hermione.

"What do you mean 'You almost got caught'? You're a Weasley twin for goodness sake!" George shook his head in disappointment.

"It wasn't my fault! Hermione was the one who gave herself away. I just hope we don't have to bail her out of Azkaban. "

"It would be coming out of her paycheck…" George grumbled in reply.

"Yeah, but the matter still remains that I am a perfectly good snoop. No need to disown me or any-"

"Guys, I swear, if you ever send me back to that department I think I'll go bleeding insane." The twins were effectively cut off by Ron walking through the shop entrance, expression crossed between mentally scarred and amused.

"Darlingest brother," Fred began.

"Why on earth do you think we sent you there instead of ourselves?"

It was a rather good point.

And Ron knew it. So no arguments arose. Honestly he was probably used to it.

Fred and George finally caught sight of the box in his hands, their eyes lighting up like a children on Christmas day. They snatched it from his hands and the two of them rushed up the stairs into their titanium experimentation room of death.

Absentmindedly wondering where his favourite bookish brunette witch could be, Ron made his way towards the cash register, taking over for George who had been standing there previously. He glanced suspiciously at what looked to be a walkie-talkie system still lying on the counter.

He decided against questioning it. A rather good choice, if I do say so myself.

The door burst open, and in ran Hermione, face flushed and breath coming in heaves. Quickly she slammed the door shut behind her and stayed with her back up against the glass, her eyes still wide. She peered nervously through the glass, before turning back to her red head best friend.

As Ron stood there questioningly, he realized that now would be the best time to finally say his line. Maybe this time is would finally make her fall for him. She looked pretty close to collapsing already.

"Hey 'Mione,"

"Yes….Ron," She gasped out, in between panting.

"Are you tired?"

"Ronald, I'm exhausted. I just ran halfway here from the ministry, being chased by wizard cops who were randomly shooting spells at me, before I realized that I could dissapparate. In my hurry I almost splinched two of my fingers, and then once I got to Diagon Alley, I ended up at the leaky cauldron. Do you know who was there?"

She didn't leave time for Ron to answer.

"Neville Longbottom was there, that's who. And I love Neville, but that boy has a tendency to follow you around until you're ready to explode, so I ran out of there, and sprinted all the way here."

She blinked for a moment, finally her breathe was beginning to come back to her.

"Wait, why do you ask?"

"Well I was thinking that maybe it was because you've been running through my mind all day?"

"….No Ron, it wasn't."

And with that she groaned and sunk to the ground

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**A/N: Haha, Funny story here. You know how on the last chapter I was like: "Rawr, guys you gotta give me a deadline, so that I'll actually get this done... Blah Blah Blah, Rant, Rant, Rant..." You know, the usual. So basically, Lady Ice actually did give me a deadline. She said that I had a week to get this chapter finished. And you know what? I actually tried. I started it the next day... But it's now been-what two months? Three?- since then. I really am sorry, it's just, I haven't really just sat down and worked on it. I've just been doing it in parts. So guys, if you want to give me a deadline, please do. I'll try my best to follow through, but... there are no gaurantees...**

**So, as far as editing goes, I haven't even looked it over... I will, don't worry, I just have no intention of doing that now. So I apologize for any typos, grammatical errors, or blaring spelling mistakes. It's ineveitable that they'll be there.**

**Anyways, thank you once again to all you reviewers who contributed pick-up lines! I love to hear your suggestions, and since this story really has no plan whatsoever, if you have something that you'd like me to throw in, by all means tell me and I'll do my best! Today's Pick-up line was my own. It's one of my favourites and ever since the beginning I just knew that I had to throw it in. But I don't really have any others, except for the multiple one's that have been suggested, so feel free to give me a few! **

**Alright, I think that my goal (Unless someone gets me a tangible deadline to follow) will be to at least get another chapter up by the end of the month! Of course, you know the best way to get me to update is by reviewing... Let's just say that my morals aren't so high as to decline bribery...**


	5. I'd pick you Second?

**Disclaimer: Okay, so I've decided that for two hours every night, I will own Harry Potter. Any profits made during that time, goes to me. I mean I didn't actually consult J.K. Rowling about this, but I'm sure she'd accept right? No? You don't think so? Oh, well, maybe I should take this proposal to a law office or something first. Alright, sorry guys, you'll just have to wait a little bit until Harry Potter is mine. Until then, all characters, except Cynthia, belong to J.K. Rowling, may we all bow down to her, and not I.**

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Ron was mind jarringly drunk. I'm sure there were other words to describe his state at this moment in time. Boozed out of his sanity, stoned beyond belief, drowned under the influence, or merely, entirely intoxicated. You may take your pick, but I think that "mind jarringly drunk" has a nice ring to it, don't you?

Now it shouldn't be said that Ronald Weasley couldn't hold his liqueur. He was a real man, and gosh darn it if he was going to spend his night thrown over a toilet seat just because of a few drops of alcohol. Or maybe it was more like a few sips…. Half a bottle? Maybe a whole one or two… or five.

The fire whiskey burned in his stomach, churning like the pits of hell itself. Okay, maybe he'd had a few too many bottles to drink, but when your older brothers question your manliness, you don't stop until their jaws are dropped in awe, hands covering their mouths in astonishment.

Or you know, trying to hide their snickers as you get completely drunk off your ass.

Truth be told, Fred and George had done it for a good cause. Obviously Ron wasn't using these lines to their full potential, seeing as he was still pathetic and single. He just needed a little push in the right direction and since alcohol has a tendency to make people do stupid things, and the whole pick-up line mission was undoubtedly just that, they'd figured: _Why not?_

And of course this evening's party would be so much more entertaining this way.

On the subject of parties, I suppose a back story should be given. See the Weasley twins, like many human beings, were rather social entities. So was Ronald, although he didn't quite have the same ability to be friendly, due to his horrid stubbornness at times, and altogether cluelessness. Even the bookish brunette had some semblance of a social life and quite a few good mates in the wizarding world, and the muggle world, despite her love of all things studious.

Anyways, the whole thing started when Fred and George thought: _We're bored. _

Now being bored can have many fruitful consequences. One might decide to create something beautiful, or learn something new. One might play a game, or make a new friend. Or perhaps, one might through an impromptu party and invite all of Diagon alley, half of the ministry of magic and any other friends who could make their way there on this fine Saturday night.

And thus, it happened indeed. It would take place in the Weasley's Wizard Wheezes store, which had been cleared of all shelves and other potentially harmful and/or heart attack inducing products.

As Ron stumbled around, pondering his fate in a philosophical state, that one would only find Ron in when he was truly out of it, he questioned what exactly had led him to show up at this party. All this time spent being wasted, was literally a waste of time. At this very moment he could've been at home, perfectly sober, mulling over why he was failing so miserably in his attempts to woo the girl of his dreams.

Then again, maybe the little social gathering sounded a little bit more appealing than spending the night home alone, moping.

Anyways, back to Ron philosophically pondering fate. As we had established previously, it was a rarity indeed to find Ronald Weasley himself, thinking such strangely wise thoughts. In fact, if it hadn't been so blaringly obvious that he was off his rocker, I'm sure he would've have been quite respected for the rather smart thoughts running through his mind

However the first thought to actually register in his intoxicated head, went something like this: _Oh my darling-est, where hast thou flown on this brisk eve? Perhaps the intimate gathering did not appease my wondrous angel from heaven? Oh my dear, why doth thou desert-eth me on this chill evening?_

And while he pondered such things in a rather poetic manor, his eyes searched the crowds as best as he could in his drunken state.

This, for the record, wasn't much.

Finally after a few minutes of wandering (read: stumbling, shoving and falling) at last he saw the brown curly hair of his beloved, which he knew he'd always recognize.

She was sitting at the bar type thingy which the Weasley twins had somehow procured from their previous marble checkout counter. She didn't socialise, nor make any move to search for a familiar face.

Ron took his opportunity. He set off to seduce his love, once and for all.

George Weasley was a kind man, although he had the occasional cruel streak. These random bursts were few and far in-between, but know that when the adjective cruel is used for this particular case, perhaps it should be read as mischievous, taunting, witty, clever, and never above a good practical joke. And believe you me, getting his little brother have delirious was a pretty fun joke, not to toot his own horn. Actually, it had been more Fred's idea then his own, but he had been the genius to grab the video camera and tape Ronald's embarrassing lovey-dovey rant which he had unwittingly and drunkenly slurred to the camera.

It was for blackmail's sake, purely, as one could imagine.

Of course, he hadn't planned on letting him loose on society so soon before his intoxication had worn off a little bit. Somehow their little brother had stumbled into the hordes of people, and gotten lost. Now George had been separated from both his brothers and felt as though perhaps he would be asphyxiated by jumping and wriggling bodies. Oh, why had they invited so many god damn _people_?

And where the _hell_ was Ronald?

As her head bobbed to the music, Hermione glanced down at her outfit, smiling contentedly. She didn't look too bad, it could easily be admitted. Her dress was a deep purple, not too low cut, but enough to be just slightly on the seductive side. It hung around her knees, and wasn't in anyway immodest on the beautiful witch's form.

Now if only she could show it off to a certain red head…

But annoyingly enough, it was as though none of the Weasley brother's wanted to be found. Oh it was true; she had looked, high and low. There were just too many people here, and too many people who weren't lovable red headed hooligans.

With a sigh, she decided that perhaps she should move from the place by the wall where she had been standing. Although there were people everywhere, she managed to manoeuvre easily along the edges of the throng of dancing people standing in the centre of the shop. She wasn't entirely sure where she should even start looking. She was tired of her solitude; it was time to begin her search once again.

She never would have thought it would be so easy to lose the Weasley brothers of all people. Their presence was so overwhelming; they were generally hard to miss. Add that to their fiery red hair, and generally, they would be the so noticeable, they'd be the life of the party.

Hermione continued to shuffle around and between people, hoping to catch sight of at least one head of red. Up on her very tippy toes, her eyes darted through the crowd, scanning it easily.

And then… No could it be? Over in the corner! It was George! Yes, she had finally found a familiar face! She looked a few feet in front of him to see Ron also, standing near the countertop. Grinning she made her way towards the brothers.

Oh Gosh. George had found him. Yes, indeed, he did. To be precise, he had found him flirting with another girl. As in a girl who was not Hermione. As in, if Hermione saw this, she would be heartbroken for life.

Oh and speak of the devil- Wait, he hadn't technically spoken of her. Was it so bad that just thinking about her could cause her to appear? Maybe if he thought hard enough at her to leave, she would.

_Please go away, please go away, please go away, please go away._

"Hey George!"

Damn it.

"Oh hey Hermione!" He said enthusiastically. He had to make her leave before she saw the idiot standing behind him.

"Great party so far don't you think?"

Politely, George nodded, glancing behind her, hoping to catch a glimpse of his other half coming to rescue him. Sadly he had no such luck.

"Why are you looking so worried?" Hermione's innocent hazel eyes gazed up into his, and George decided to tell the truth. Or at least half of it.

"I haven't been able to find Fred for a while. I hope he's okay," he answered with an overdramatic sigh. Oh he was milking it. He was milking it for all it was worth.

"Oh George, did you try looking behind you? He's right there!" She nodded her head to the twin standing at the countertop attempting to pull his younger brother away from his 'Hermione'.

"Let's go say hi!" With that, the two of them walked over to the other pair, George still trying to look composed, although inside he knew that they were royally screwed over.

Fred turned around and caught his twin's eye, panic shining in both of them. Ron was still clinging to the checkout desk, slurring over every word, but still making enough sense for it to be obvious that he was overtly flirting with another woman.

Hermione herself began to notice that something bad was afoot, by the slumped stance that Ron took, and the close proximity between him and the mystery girl beside him.

She was close enough now to see when Ron pulled out a familiar looking piece of paper, slightly crumpled, and squinted carefully holding the list in front of his face.

Hermione began to speed up, hoping desperately he wasn't about to do what she thought he was about to.

"If you were a booger, I would pick you first," he managed to get out through his drunken slurred speech. Hermione froze: he didn't. He couldn't have.

No matter how absurd the line was, no matter how strangely he had been acting because of that list, she had thought that Ron's paper was made especially for her. That each endearingly bizarre and corny line was only for her.

In a fury she stomped over to the drunken man, fury sketched all over her face, leaving both George and Fred paralysed.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

"Ronald Weasley, if you are trying to seduce a woman, a line like that is not the way to go about it!" She screeched.

As Ron heard his name, his head jerked up in shock, before looking confusedly at both 'Hermiones'. Finally he realized the levity of just what he had done.

"Aw, hell!"

But the brunette was already leaving, exiting Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes, while Ron stood finishing his sentence.

"That was supposed to be for you! Hermione, wait, If you were a booger, you'd be the one I'd pick first not-" He glanced at the girl next to him, who in his still slightly drunk state, bore a remarkable resemblance to Hermione.

"Cynthia," she replied in a bored tone.

"Not Cynthia! But you're not a booger! I'd still pick you over anyone!" He shouted. "No offense," he offered to the girl sitting beside him.

"None taken."

And by this time, the bookish witch had already left the premises.

* * *

**A/N: OKAY OKAY! I'm Sorry! I really am! People must be so tired of hearing that by now. I've decided to give up asking for a deadline, because I just fail miserably. If you want a chapter up soon, just pester me until I get it done. I will eventually, but when people prod me, I feel guilty, and it'll get done sooner.**

**This chapter is dedicated to Awesome-One, because she got me to finally get this done. A month ago, I said I'd have it up in a week. Then a week ago, I promised that I'd have it up before the weekend was up. Agh! I'm so sorry! But, I'm now writing this from my brand new laptop! By the way, I hope you all had a great christmas and awesome holidays! **

**Sorry about the shortness of this chapter, especially in comparison with the last chapter... It's two in the morning, don't judge me. Also, due to the fact that I'm posting this up at this ungodly hour, please excuse any typos, spelling errors, or downright horrendous grammatical errors. My humblest apologies.**

**Alright, I'm done. I'm going to bed now, so enjoy!**

**As always, reviews are appreciated! And a big thank you to all the people who did so on the last chapter! I love you guys! Here have a cookie. **


	6. New Year's Angel

**Disclaimer: Sooo, what's up? Me? No I'm not doing anything. Why do you ask? What? I'm looking a little suspicious? No. No. You've got it all wrong. I'm trying to look innocent so that no one suspects that I stole the rights to Harry Potter. I mean, I'm trying to look innocent so that no one suspects that I troll the lights to carry hotter. Obviously. Alright, alright, you caught me. They're all J.'s. But I own John Hecklebottome! Hehe, what a stupid name. Were his parents high or something when they named him? HAHAHAHA. Wait, I named him didn't I?...**

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The streets of London were fairly crowded on this fine night, although the reason why, eluded Hermione Granger. She shuffled past hoards of people, who annoyingly stood in clusters, with drinks in their hands and aggravating smiles on their faces.

What reason did they have to be happy? What right did they have to forget their pain? Why tonight?

All this Hermione thought quite bitterly, as she wondered and wandered. And wandered and wondered. With a little more wandering and perhaps she wondered here too, she found herself standing near a nice looking muggle café.

Opting to sit alone in there, rather than standing alone in the crowded streets, Hermione made her way into the small shop, glancing warily at the near empty building. Quietly she took a seat at one of the round tables and picked up the paper menu.

Eventually a smallish woman glanced over at her from behind the back counter, and raised both of her eyebrows in surprise. Quickly she trotted over to her, her faded white apron tied haphazardly around her waist. She obviously wasn't expecting anyone this evening. Odd, seeing as the streets were fairly busy.

"What are you doing here on a night like tonight? Shouldn't a woman as pretty as yourself be out with your man?" The waitress looked at her curiously, while pulling out her notepad.

At this Hermione frowned, both from confusion and from hurt. She had forgotten about Ronald for a few moments. Not that he was her man. He had made that _abundantly _clear.

"Why, what's tonight?" Hermione asked. The woman's eyebrows, if possible, flew even higher on her forehead.

"Why miss, it's new year's eve!" Hermione gasped. How had she forgotten about that, of all things! She had completely let it slip her mind. Oh, that must have been what Fred and George's party was for! How had she been so daft?

"Oh my gosh! I forgot!" The waitress looked at her carefully.

"I'm sorry miss, but you… forgot about new year's eve?"

Hermione blushed, and ducked her head.

"Well, I was thinking about other things…"

The waitress nodded in understanding and sat down, quiet abruptly across from the girl.

"What did he do?"

Hermione sighed, and began to spill her guts to the stranger. She talked about how Ron had been so rude, and how he had flirted with another girl clearly in front of her. The woman gasped in horror.

"My goodness, your boyfriend looked at another woman, and led her on right there in front of you? That bastard!"

"Well…. Um… He's not actually my boyfriend…"

"You were engaged? Even worse!"

"Actually… We're not together at all…"

Hermione blushed once again, as she realized just how ludicrous this whole thing sounded.

"I beg your pardon miss, but… Maybe he didn't know you were interested?" She said it hesitantly, as if she didn't quite know what to say next.

Hermione thought about that. And thought… And then she thought a little bit more. And then she glanced out the windows, absentmindedly. And then she thought some- Wait, was that Ronald walking along the streets there?

She gasped, and quickly stuck her head behind the menu

"Oh is he there? Who is it?" Hermione glanced out from behind her menu, and immediately shot back.

"He's standing right there by the window." She said in a hushed whisper.

"Which one, the red head or the one with black hair and glasses… Oh wait, another fellow is there too, with brown hair, and a big nose."

Hermione frowned. Who were the other two people? She moved her head out from behind the menu once again, and saw… Harry! Why on earth was Harry here? She looked at the other man standing across from Harry and Ron.

She froze, staring in horror. That… no it couldn't be.

Just outside of the window stood John Hecklebottome, the worst boyfriend that Hermione had ever, _ever_ had. He was pompous, arrogant and cruel. Hermione had dated him, just a few years ago during the summer, and he was quite possibly the most ignorant, egotistical, air-head muggle, she had ever had the misfortune to meet.

And now he was staring right at her.

Heheh… shit.

Ronald attempted to follow his love, honestly, he did. As soon as he'd realized she'd abandoned him (admittedly, he'd deserved it) he ran out into the streets of Diagon Alley, where in a drunken state, he stumbled, tripped and all together flailed his way down the streets. After thoroughly searching through the wizarding alley, he decided that Hermione wasn`t there, and went through the Leaky Cauldron deciding to explore the Muggle world in search of her instead. Or at least he was about to do so, when he happened to see a rather familiar face, although in his blurred state of vision, he wasn`t entirely sure that it was him.

"Ron? Are you drunk?"

"Harry? Is that you?" Ron asked wearily. Harry, or at least, he was pretty sure that was who it was, laughed.

"Yeah, it's me. How much did you drink?"

Ron was rather offended. He'd thought he'd sobered up quite a bit since the party. Admittedly he had, however that wasn't saying much, since he'd been pretty darn smashed.

"Never mind that mate, I need to find Hermione!"

Harry raised his eyebrows, as if to say: 'I think in that state, it would probably be better for all of society that you're locked up indoors.'

However, Ron, never have being good at reading looks from people, merely grabbed his friends arm before dragging him out the door of the Leaky Cauldron and out onto the crowded roads of London.

"Ugh, why is it so crowded?"

"Ron, it's new year's eve," Harry said slowly, as though he was talking to a child.

"…It is?"

Harry just shook his head and kept walking.

Absentmindedly, Ron realized that that must have been the reason for Fred and George's party. It all made sense now. Nobody threw a party for no reason.

As the two old friends walked down the street, the red head realized that it was probably around time to start asking around, seeing as he had absolutely no clue as to where the beautiful brunette was hidden.

Tapping a random shoulder on the street, he found himself standing in front of a rather snobbish looking man, with brown hair, beady eyes and a gigantic nose.

"Yes?"

Oh gosh, even his voice was annoying. The nasally sound to it made Ron want to cover his ears and run away screaming. But that would make him look like a fool, and if there was one thing Ronald Weasley was not, it was a fool.

"Have you seen a frizzy haired brunette walk by here?"

The man frowned, and thought for a moment.

"That sounds remarkably like a woman I used to date." Here Ron almost snorted at the prospect of someone dating this fellow, especially Hermione.

"Yes, her name was Hermione Granger, an annoying woman, who thought she knew everything."

Ron almost pulled out a gun and shot him dead right there. However, for various reasons, he didn't. For one, he had no gun on his person. Secondly, Harry already grabbed his arm and pulled him back as he attempted to tackle the man in front of them.

"And you are…?" Harry asked calmly, although his voice contained a certain amount of ice laced in his words. The man sniffed disdainfully, looking up and down the two men standing in front of them.

"John Hecklebottome."

Ron snorted once again, and Harry almost laughed out loud this time.

"Do you find something amusing about my name?" He twitched his nose, and turned his head to the side, making it look as though he was above the other two men, although really he did it to hide his embarrassment.

And then his eyes lit upon a face in the café window. A very familiar face. A face which now had her eyes wide open in panic. John smirked and tilted his head in the direction of the two boys who were now full out laughing at him. Hermione immediately understood the gesture and shook her head frantically. But Mr. Hecklebottome was a rather cold hearted person, and so, with a grin, he turned back to the two boys in front of him.

"She's in there."

He said pointing to the small café. Ron's eyes widened with joy, and Harry smiled. The two looked through the window to see the bookish brunette hiding behind a menu, while a nice looking waitress smiled and lifted and eyebrow at the three standing outside her shop.

The three of them opened the door and walked in single file. Harry was almost certain he could see Hermione quaking with nervous energy from behind her menu. The lady sitting across from her stood up and whispered in Hermione's ear. Harry was fairly certain it was a 'good luck'. Though he questioned why exactly she would need luck in this situation.

The three men took the empty chairs around Hermione's table and merely say there for a moment until Harry pulled the menu from her face.

"Oh! I didn't see you there!"

"I'm sure…" John muttered.

"How good to see you Harry, glad you could be here."

Harry smiled at her clearly anxious tone. She looked like she was about to jump up and start running.

"Yes, well I ran into Ron here, and he said he was looking for you."

Hermione tittered, and shifted her eyes quickly to Ron's blue ones which met her full on. Quickly she moved her eyes back to Harry, for the sake of comfort.

"Did he now?"

"Yes I did," Ron answered, his voice deep and rumbling. Maybe it was just the alcohol. Hermione shuddered and didn't quite meet his eyes.

"And why would you do that?"

"Yes, why would you look for this know-it-all?" John asked cheerfully. Ron and Hermione ignored him, the two only focusing on each other.

"Shut up man," Harry warned. He wasn't horribly tolerant of people insulting his friends.

"Well, I wanted to apologize," Ron said sadly. "I shouldn't have flirted with Cynthia-"

Hermione frowned when she heard her name, but Ron, still caught up in his apology, failed to notice.

"And that line was meant for you."

If Hermione hadn't of been so enamoured with the red-head she might have been a little offended that the crude pick-up line was actually supposed to have been aimed at her. Instead she felt rather flattered.

Of to the side, Harry and John were bickering even more, John continuing to through insults at Hermione, unbeknownst to her, and Harry getting closer and closer to throttling him.

Ron, cleared his throat. The whole time that he'd been trying to find the brunette, he'd been reciting the next line over and over in his head. He was sure that this one was sure to knock her off of her feet. And if that happened, she'd have to forgive him.

"Hermione?"

"Yes Ron?" She brought her gaze up to meet his, and their eyes remained locked. Harry and Mr. Hecklebottome both turned, feeling the change in atmosphere, and sat staring, wondering what was going to happen next.

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"

"It hurt. She landed on her face," John said quickly, although neither Ron nor Hermione seemed the least bit affected by it. In fact, if one could describe the look that Hermione was giving the red head, it would have to be as 'starry eyed'.

However, the Harry Potter heard him, whose patience was running awfully thin. Actually, for decades it would be argued as to what finally pushed him over the edge, but I believe that his last rude, albeit clever, line may have been the cause for Harry tackling John to the ground.

As Harry and John fought each other on the floor, the other two folks just stood and stared of in different trance like states, Ron with an adorably cheesy smile on his face and Hermione with a look of skepticism crossed with the look someone might give an adorable puppy. Somehow the amazing Miss Granger managed to pull it off.

Everyone was startled by the sound of shouting outside.

"Ten!... Nine!...Eight!...Seven!... Six!..."

It was almost the new year. Ron and Hermione both stood up with smiles on their faces and looked out the window. Harry froze from his place on top of Mr. Hecklebottome, a large smile starting to form on his face to as he looked at his two best friends standing shoulder to shoulder. It was about time.

"Three!...Two!...One!..."

Bells rang, people hugged their families, toasted to a new year, and couples kissed. And during all the chaos, Ron hesitantly looked down at Hermione who sported a huge grin. She looked up at him curiously. Ever so slowly he brought his lips down to meet hers.

And even behind closed lids, they saw the fireworks.

Sitting in front of the television screen that was in their apartment, George flipped through the channels, bored out of his mind. The only things on were various celebrations, with fireworks and doohickeys flying about. Frowning, he paused at a channel.

"And we hope that everyone will have a great new year!" The announcer shouted into the microphone. The crowds around him cheered and clapped, while George's eyebrows rose in astonishment.

"Oi! Brother of mine!"

"Yes, brother of mine?" Fred's head popped into the room.

"Did you know it's New Year's?"

Fred's eyebrow's rose too.

"It is?"

* * *

**A/N: Thought I'd end it on a more humorous note, instead of a romantic one. Bleck, romance. EWWWW I can't believe they kissed! Hermione's gonna get Cooties! I'm just kidding, she'll be fine. What did you guys think? Don't worry though, this isn't the end! Remember, we've still got five more lines left on the list! Yes! That means next chapter I can through more conflict into the story! Aren't you excited?**

**I'm so proud of myself for finishing this! Let historians note, that this is the first time I have updated my story twice in two weeks! Don't get used to it though... **

**A special thank you to PurifiedDrinkingWater! (The person, not the actual water... But you know maybe I should thank actual purified water, it's pretty useful. Maybe it deserves a thank you too...) Who used to be the AwesomeOne! (Who I mentioned last chapter) Actually, she gave me the inspiration for this chapter, and continued to pester me to finish this! So thank you! **

**I actually got this pick up line (and little comeback) from a song by Mr. Jon Cozart on youtube. He's pretty awesome you should check him out. I had to choose between this line and: "Your face is like the sun." "Yup, it burns my retinas." **

**Also, thank you to all the reviewers out there! I love you! I mean 38 reviews? Yes! You guys are awesome. But keep in mind, I update faster when I have people pestering me to finish things! *coughreviewcough* Anyways, to all of you who have reviewed, you may have a virtual swimming pool. Here. **


	7. Chapter 7 Part 1 Don't kill me

**Disclaimer: Attention! Attention! This is a warning! Once I finally steal the rights to Harry Potter from J.K Rowling, I expect all of you to keep hush hush about it! I swear, if anyone of you tells them it was me... I shall devour your soul. Or something like that. **

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Frankly, Harry knew it was coming. Clearly it was inevitable, after the kiss during the final battle, and all the sexual tension building up since fourth year, the whole damn wizarding world had figured it would happen sooner or later. People were almost more surprised by the fact that they weren't together yet.

Actually, after they'd kissed the first time, everyone had just assumed that they were together, but somehow, the two were both so romantically awkward they'd stopped talking to each other for months, trying to avoid the other's face. Eventually they'd come to some unspoken agreement that they would go back to just being friends although anyone with half a brain could see that they were hopelessly in love.

Judging by the fact that neither of them could tell, it could be deduced that both Ron and Hermione were, to be blunt, idiots.

But this was only Harry Potter's humble opinion.

That night when Harry had looked over from his place high atop that stupid Hecklebottome, and finally stopped beating his brains in, he'd thought that finally their troubles were over. The admittedly girlish 'awww' that escaped his lips turned out to be all for nothing. For a split second time had frozen as his two best friends finally stopped their annoying dancing around their feelings. All came to an end as Harry felt a sickening blow to his jaw from the moron who had managed to slip his hands out of Harry's hold. As he looked up, wincing at the bruise that would be forming in the morning, Hermione was fleeing the scene, cheeks red from embarrassment, leaving Ronald with his mouth gaping, stuttering out meaningless blabber.

The poor soul, he really was a blundering idiot.

Ron could only wonder why such a thing would happen to him. That list was foolproof, the twins had guaranteed it.

The twins were actually somewhat surprised that the list had even gotten as much as a kiss from it. In fact, the best part about the entire list was watching the two of them squirm. However, it had been strangely satisfying seeing the fruits of their creative labor, or at least hearing about it. Of course the fact that both of them were so horrible as to be ignoring each other now did put a damper on it.

It had gotten to the point where it wasn't even funny anymore. Harry, Fred and George were unanimous that something had to be done. And evidently, there were two people who needed a good talking to.

The day was Sunday… three weeks after the legendary kiss had happened. That's right, it had been three weeks since Ron or Hermione had uttered a single word to each other.

Two mysterious red heads appeared just outside the door of a Mr. Ronald Weasley, ready to interrogate, and/or torture him if the need arose. It was time that Ronald, figuratively, grew a pair, and went for his girl.

So it was decided that he most definitely was in need of an infamous Weasley twin 'pep talk'.

Hearing the doorbell ring Ron shuffled to the door of his flat, wondering who on earth could be calling on a Sunday. It was his day off after all. It was the perfect time to mope in his pyjamas and eat ice cream. He had even pondered pulling out some old romance movies so he could sit on his couch and cry because his true love hated his guts. Understandably, he was annoyed to have been disturbed.

He was doubly annoyed when it turned out to be his brothers. The brothers who screwed over his love life with their stupid pick-up lines. It'd probably been another trick on their behalf anyways. He couldn't believe he'd fallen for it again.

"Good lord Ronald, what the hell happened to you?" Exclaimed Fred, raising an eyebrow at Ron's wrinkled pyjamas and red rimmed eyes.

"Boy, you look like crap," George chimed in cheerfully.

"Thank you for stopping by and insulting me. Good day," Ron said while slamming the door in his no-good brother's faces. Or at least attempting to. Fred had stuck his foot in the door.

"Ugh! Go away!"

Fred and George looked at each other before barging in anyways and shoving their little brother out of the way.

Ron sighed. He'd grown up with his brothers. He knew there was no way he could get them out without renting a bulldozer and crushing them. And even that wasn't full proof; they were wizards after all.

As the twins stepped in the moved and threw themselves down onto his couch, sprawling out and stealing the bowl of chocolate chip ice cream on the coffee table. Ron felt as though he was about to cry as he watched them devour his last bit of sweet ice creamy goodness…

"What do you want?"

"Ronniekins, is that anyway to treat your loving and concerned older brothers?"

"It is when they ruined my life," grunted the boy, who promptly sat down on the floor, since his only couch was occupied.

Maybe he was hallucinating, but Ron could have sworn he saw a flash of guilt in each of their eyes.

"Yes, well we can assure you that was purely accidental," Fred said with a sheepish sort of grimace. Ron snorted.

"Yes, I'm sure."

"This is really good ice cream, where did you get it?" Asked George, who was still eating Ron's only friend left in the world.

Ron sent a glare of disgust at his brother who grimaced also.

"Maybe I'll just marry my ice cream. Then we can be happy forever. My ice cream loves me at least," muttered Ron.

"If that's the case, why is your ice cream cheating on you with George?"

"Your comment is not appreciated," Ron growled. He clearly wasn't amused. "Seriously, why are you here?"

"We've decided that you are a moron-"

"And we've come to give you some brotherly advice!"

Ron rolled his eyes. Yes, that'd worked so well the last time.

"Apparently the list we gave you was more effective then we'd actually planned for it to be-"

"Wait, so it was just a prank?" Ron wasn't amused, to say the least.

"Urm… well yes that was how it started off…" George winced. Perhaps it was a bit of a harsh prank. Seeing the murderous glint in their brother's eyes Fred jumped in quickly.

"But, we're really sorry, so we've come to help you!"

"For real this time," added George.

"Can't you see? Hermione hates me." This time both twins snorted at the same time. It was a little eerie when they did that…

"Look, while that list was originally for our own amusement, it obviously worked to some extent," George explained.

"Therefore, Hermione must like you back, to some extent."

Ron's brow furrowed. That didn't make sense. She'd run away after he'd kissed her. That generally wasn't a good sign when it came to girls.

"No she doesn't. She thinks I'm an idiot."

"Well that's because you are an idiot," said Fred.

"But to be fair, she's a bit of an idiot too," threw in George. They were both so in love with each other yet neither of them could see it.

"Look, just keep using the lines dear brother. We can promise you that by then end of them, she won't be able to say no."

"Come on Ron, don't give up on her. Just be persistent!"

With that the two of them stood up and headed to the door, leaving Ron to think about their words.

"By the way, thanks for the ice cream!"

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**A/N: Okay, so since I'm a psychic, I know exactly what you guys are thinking. It something along the lines of "What the HELL was that? You don't upload anything for FOUR FREAKING MONTHS and THIS is ALL we get? You BLEEEP BLEEEEEP BLEEEEEEEEEPIN' BLEEEEEEPER from the depths of BLEEEEEEEEP..." etc. So before you try and mob me, let me just say; This is not the end of the chapter! Think of it as part 1. I'm working on the next part, which should be infinitely longer, and once I'm done it, I'll turn this chapter into one big one! Let's just say that I promised people I'd have something up by tuesday, and I'm being forced to leave the confines of my bedroom for the rest of the night, so I won't be able to get this finished :'( But the rest is coming! I'll try and have it up by the end of this week, worry not! **

**Think of this as proof that I'm not actually being a lazy ass and not doing anything. I actually _was_ working on this, so I figured it'd be better to post something up instead of breaking a deadline that I gave myself... again. **

**Anyways, feel free to review me, go all caps lock on me for being a moron, you know the usual... But hey, the rest will be up _soon! _Hopefully...**


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